One of my favorite ally’s in the world of single, Blake, responds to my post The Ten Commandments of Being Single:
I’m losing count of the amount of times in my life that I have become besotted with boys who really don’t care about me at all. I think we are all guilty of falling for and putting up with these boys for far too long. I’ve been ignored and then told off like a naughty child by the boy I was seeing but forgave him instantly because he came round with a free sachet of hot chocolate. I let the same boy keep me at arms length for a whole term at university because he “didn’t know what he wanted” whilst telling me he loved me as he orgasmed. I continued seeing a boy after a friend found him on Tinder, despite a conversation where we both expressed that we didn’t have Tinder, because he called me “beautiful” about once a month. I let him use me as a taxi service because he was so cute with my dog. I walked down a terrifying canal tow-path to his house (boat) alone, even after I asked him to escort me, because he was going to cook us dinner and couldn’t leave the oven on, yet when I got there he hadn’t even started cooking the Tesco-own sauce-from-a-jar carbonara. I let a boy who I clearly had fallen for use me for sex for half a year because he told me he had shown my Facebook page to his friends (that means he’s proud of me right?), yet when I suggested we go on a date he said “yeah we could go for a coke in the park”.
1) Thou shall always make yourself sexy
The temptation is to grow your leg hairs into an insulating forrest and pop on your comfy, sensible, discoloured chastity belt (knickers). Although I advocate this as a very effective cock-block, it is not an every day solution to single life. These knickers should only be worn when you are actively (not passively) avoiding sex, i.e. hot first date with someone you want to continue seeing and therefore can’t sleep with immediately (gutted). The thought of exposing your overgrown lady garden and the granny-pants that confine it will ensure you are more virginal than Mary herself.
So with this as your only exception, it is important to keep yourself sexy at all times. Even if no one is going to feel those silky legs or see that smoking matching underwear, I never feel more confident and desirable than when I know I look as good under my clothes, as I do on top. Not to mention if you do get lucky, you are totally prepared. Just try this, next time you are getting ready for a night out: don’t skip the exfoliation, shaving and moisturising sesh, put on your best underwear and check yourself out in the mirror before you get dressed. I guarantee it’s a bigger confidence boost than most guys could ever give you.
Continue reading “The Ten Commandments Of Being Single”
Last night I went on a blind date with someone who I already knew I didn’t fancy. Ok so it wasn’t technically a blind date, I had met him for about five minutes in a pub a couple of weekends ago. My friend Jen was seeing his best friend, James, and had gone over to the group of boys, asked who was single, and who fancied me. Nate answered yes to both, and my fate was set. Jen gave him my number and me my marching orders: “be nice to him, you can’t show me up” and a list of questions “does James like me, does he date many girls, is he seeing anyone else” and so on.
Detective Alexa to the rescue.
Continue reading “How to survive a blind date that you wish you were blind for”
the holy fail 